Peachtree Corners Events for the Week of March 13, 2022

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Fake Spring, Real Beer, and Trophies

Wanna feel old? The iPhone turns 15 this year.

It’s old enough for a learner’s permit. And since phones and driving go together like lamb and tuna fish, let’s celebrate this momentous occasion by discussing yet another driving app.

Peachtree Corners has installed a smart traffic signal in Technology Park. It automagically sends notifications to your phone when you approach the intersection. To unlock this sorcery, simply download the “Travel Safely” app and give Big Brother one more way to track you.

Hold up. Does anyone else see the irony in a smartphone app that only works if we use it while we’re driving? Bueller??

Anyway, the traffic signal sends alerts like “Get ready for green” and “Red light ahead.” You know, things your eyes normally handle if you’re paying attention to driving. While DRIVING.

All kidding aside (not), this sounds pretty useful. In fact, I have a few ideas for alerts they should include:

• “You know you can turn right on red. Seriously, it’s okay. In fact, it’s encouraged. It helps traffic flow. Why haven’t you turned yet?!”

• “This flashing yellow turn signal means you can turn left if no one is coming in the opposite direction. There’s even a sign hanging right next to me that says the same thing. Dude. I’m a SMART traffic signal. I am telling you no one is coming! The coast is clear! TURN NOW!!”

• “I see you playing with your phone. The car behind you sees you playing with your phone too. That’s why they’re honking at you. Stop looking at your phone and GO!”

• “The power is out in Peachtree Corners. AGAIN. That’s why I’m not working. That means this intersection should be treated as an all-way stop. Don’t just blast through here!”

Of course that last idea would require something low-tech: a battery.

Oh, well. One step forward and two steps back.

Now let’s keep moving forward and check out this week’s events!

Peachtree Corners Events

Here’s what’s happening in and around Peachtree Corners. Check out the calendar for a full list of events.

Friday and Saturday, March 11th and 12th

Apparently the Back Porch Concert Series at From the Earth Brewing is NOT starting this weekend. The shows just disappeared from the calendar. I guess they saw the weather forecast: cold and windy with a 100% chance of a City Championship.

Saturday, March 12th

Artisan Row returns to the forum from 11:00am to 3:00pm. The event features handmade items like candles and jewelry. There’s also a special “Irish jigging” performance by the Drake School of Irish Dance. I’m dead serious. That’s a real thing. It’s apparently one of the top competitive Irish dancing schools in the nation. Which means there are multiple Irish dancing schools in this nation. God bless America.

Shamrock ‘n Roll is going down at the Atlanta Hilton Northeast. This is a charity event benefitting the Revved Up Kids mission to protect children from sexual abuse.

Sunday, March 13th

This is even bigger than St. Patrick’s Day. Sunday is Daylight Savings Time! Turn back your clocks and give the kids melatonin gummies because they refuse to go to bed when “it’s still light out.”

Thursday, March 17th

It’s St. Patrick’s Day. I have nothing to link to because it’s an amateur drinking holiday reserved for single socialites who still live “in the city.” I’m not bitter.

Also I’m pretty sure craft breweries aren’t going to dye their beer green.

Saturday, March 19th

The Suwanee Beer Fest returns. I’ve never been because Suwanee sounds like another state away. But it looks fun. And apparently it’s in the same county. All right, it’s back on my radar this year!

Do you believe in putting things out in the universe and manifesting your destiny or stuff like that?

Me, neither.

But it’s worked so far. Our tennis team won last week. We’re headed to the ALTA City Finals this weekend. And we’re going to bring home our first silver plate! (And just to be clear, I’m talking about the big one. Not the small one.)

So there. It’s out in the universe. Universe, do your thing.

Have a great week!

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